


Paper Walls

by ADarlingWrites



Series: amaranthine [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Accidental Eavesdropping, Alcohol, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Porn Magazines, Romance, Sex Talk, Sexual Humor, Shepard is a Whiskey Woman, Singing, Slight Canon Divergence, Song Lyrics, Xenophilia, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADarlingWrites/pseuds/ADarlingWrites
Summary: Thane never meant to eavesdrop. To the highly trained assassin, the steel walls of the Normandy are as thin as paper.





	1. Chapter 1

Thane rested his elbows on the desk, coming back from visiting his son, mulling over the events that transpired over the past few weeks with a cup of tea clasped between his hands. It’s been three weeks since he accompanied Shepard and Vakarian on the hunt for a turian that betrayed the latter, and a week since Shepard helped him turn Kolyat away from a life of sin.

Garrus Vakarian wanted revenge, and the drell understands that. The pain of loss was something he is all too familiar with, and so was the lust for revenge. Despite agreeing to come with them on the turian’s hunt for his betrayer, in the recesses of his mind, he didn’t want his turian companion to walk down the same dark path. In the brief time he knew Shepard, he knows Shepard hated deaths, and unnecessary ones, even more so. He isn’t surprised that Shepard reasoned with Vakarian throughout the hunt, appealing to his conscience. However, Vakarian was dead set on killing the other turian.

Despite Shepard’s disposition, Thane expected her to step aside so she can let her companion kill as he pleases; he knew of the loyalty they had for each other. Shepard blocking Vakarian’s shot when he had the man who betrayed him between his crosshairs made the assassin remember how Irikah did almost the same thing with the salarian war criminal; saving a complete stranger from a would-be killer. The act caught him off guard; his listless heartbeat quickening as Shepard stopped the other turian from moving. Thane never thought he’d see such a sight in his life again.

_I stand a few feet behind them with tense muscles and a frantic heart. Two figures walk towards the railing. The man with the guilty conscience speaks to the woman whose decision can cost his life. “You’ve got to let it go, Garrus. He’s already paying for his crime,” she speaks, continuing to protect the betrayer. A short pause, then she continues, “Look at him, Garrus. He’s not alive… there’s nothing left to kill.” They continue to converse. The guilt-ridden turian walks away with his life. I walk with Shepard and we got in the shuttle. I stay inside as they speak. “The line between good and evil blur when we look at people we know.” My heart still wouldn’t calm down._

Thane snaps out of the memory. He noticed that his tea has cooled by a few degrees when he took a small sip. Old, far off feelings slowly resurfaced when he got to know her more, and he found himself thinking about Shepard more often since the encounter. Doubts in the back of his head told him about the possibility that he was merely projecting his dead wife upon the human, and he was simply idealizing his perception of her, but any doubts he had for her are gone.

The drell assassin recalls how Shepard strode over to his son, and swung a fist to his face to stop him from doing something they will all regret. He remembers her opening her mouth to speak, the usually stern tone to her voice disappearing as she spoke to Kolyat, trying to dissuade his anger towards him in almost a soft, maternal manner. The way Shepard’s shoulder slumped forward ever so slightly, listening intently as he opened up to her about his late wife made him feel warm. His heartbeat sped up once more due to the sparkle in her eyes as she said, “ _Maybe I haven't been as upfront as I should be. I'm here for you, Thane. Whatever you need.”_ He called her a _siha_ that night.

Shepard is a woman with a warm and strong heart, and she definitely fits the description of a _siha_. No, Thane convinced that she definitely _is_ a _siha_. Having read the reports about Mindoir and the Skyllian Blitz, he couldn't be dissuaded from reaching that conclusion, further supported by Shepard's firsthand account of her experiences there. After learning about so much of her in the little time they spent together, he found himself lost in her.

_Her brows furrow. “I lost a lot of people I loved on Mindoir, Thane. My only family left is my grandmother who lives in the Demeter colony.” She paces around. Her voice cracks. Hand reaches to tuck the stray lock of dark hair from her desert-colored cheek. “I don’t want more people to go through what I have. The pain changes you. It breaks you, or hardens you.” She stops and leans against the wall in front of me. Onyx brown eyes glimmers with ferocity. “That’s what keeps me fighting. I want to save everyone.”_

“Hey, Shepard!”

The human thief’s voice interrupts his reflection, the mention of the commander’s name piquing his interest; Kasumi Goto’s voice was cheerful and laced with mischief as always. Thane noted that the walls of the Normandy definitely are not soundproof, and as an assassin, his hearing is sharp. He can hear the conversation in the port observation room with perfect clarity. “Kasumi,” Shepard greeted back, her usually stern tone replaced with a more relaxed one, her footsteps less heavy than they were. “I brought the whiskey, let’s set up. Thanks for letting me stay in your room to unwind,” Shepard continued.

“Oh Shep, it’s nothing. We needed this break,” the master thief responds, more chipper than usual.  “And uh, I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Kelly, Miranda and Jack too,” she continues, earning a groan from his _siha_. Wait, _his_? No. It’s wrong to be possessive of her. Thane respects her and holds her in high regard. She wasn’t his, not if she doesn’t want to be.

“I don’t mind more guests on this girls’ night-in Kasumi, but I don’t want a fight to break out between Miranda and Jack if they both come, unless you want an ugly hole in the bulkhead,” Shepard deadpans, and Kasumi laughs at her. “Which is why you’re here to stop them before things get ugly. I’m sure Samara can lend a hand too, _if_ she comes.”

An exasperated laugh, followed by a sigh. “This is going to be a loooong night,” Shepard muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I diverged slightly from canon!Colonist Shep by giving this Shepard one living relative outside of Mindoir.


	2. Chapter 2

Thane found it difficult to return to his meditations as more people showed up to Shepard’s small gathering in the next room. Tali’Zorah arrived, along with Samara and Doctor Chakwas. There was idle chatter, and soon Operative Lawson joins the fray. Their conversations only got louder.

“Shepard. I was starting to think you didn’t know how to relax,” Miranda started, setting herself on the couch. “I’m still human, Miranda. We all deserve a break, and I really need one after that shit in Omega,” Shepard responds, nursing her first glass of alcohol for that night. Thane cringes inwardly as he recalls what happened. It was something he didn’t want to remember, but his perfect memory denies him of this. “Your drink just got drugged on Omega and you want to spend your spare time drinking? I’ll never figure you out, Shepard,” Miranda said, her tone professional, but still concerned. “I have to agree,” Samara chimed in, who was sitting beside the Cerberus operative. “M- Our target laced your drink with Hallex. I thought you would be cautious of alcohol for a while because of that experience.”

“It’s not like someone will drug me here,” Shepard retorts. “I drink because it’s a distraction. I need some rest, and so does the whole crew. Everyone’s doing great so far,” she continues, prompting Miranda to smile. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Commander,” Miranda continues. “Thanks Shepard, I really appreciate this break,” Tali quips, holding her glass of filtered turian alcohol, a bendy straw perched on the glass rim. “Samara, I didn’t expect you to show up. Not that I’m not happy that you’re here,” the quarian continues. “I’m actually very glad we’re all here. It’s like those nights on the flotilla where we gather around and just have fun.”

The justicar smiles at her with warmth. “Friends became a rarity to me when I became a justicar. It would be a shame to miss spending time with them.” Doctor Chakwas nods in agreement. “Indeed. When the Commander died and came back, I’ve learned how to stray a little from my work and let my hair down for my friends. She’s the unifying element in this ship,” she adds, and Shepard beams at her. “Who else is invited?” the doctor asks.

“Gabby won't be making it since she's out with Ken, but we have Kelly, and Jack,” Kasumi replies, setting up drinks at the small bar at the far right of the room. “Oh dear. Well, I hope I won’t be taking anyone to the infirmary tonight,” Chakwas grinned, and Tali giggled as Miranda let out a defeated sigh. “I hope Jack can keep it civil.”

“I can hear you, cheerleader,” Jack says pointedly as the doors to the room opened to reveal her arrival. “Don’t worry, I won’t smear the walls with you. I’m here because I was told there was going to be a lot of booze,” she continues nonchalantly as she settles on the bar, sitting near Shepard. “And, I brought a little something. Maybe I’ll share it with you guys when we’re all a little drunker. More thrill that way.”

“Drugs are not allowed in this ship, Jack. Go back to Omega if you want to sample them,” Miranda interrupts as she made her way to the bar to get a drink. “That’s a huge fucking assumption you have there, bitch,” the other woman retaliates. Shepard positioned herself between the two biotics before anything major erupted, defusing the tension with a laugh. “Hey, ease up you two. Jack, what do you have and why would it be more thrilling to enjoy it while drunk?” the commander asks, trying to lighten the mood. “Oh, just some magazine. I think you’re going to like it _very_ much Shepard,” she shoots back, a tinge of suggestiveness in her voice. Shepard merely chuckles. “Jack…”

Thane managed to adapt to the noise. It doesn’t mean he will not remember the conversations they are having though. Soon enough, Kelly Chambers arrived, announcing that she was grateful to be invited, and that she will be getting food from the mess hall as thanks. There was chatter, bickering, and music. Thane didn’t mind, though. For once, he finally had people surrounding him that weren’t completely strangers. He’d even consider a few of them as friends, like Shepard herself.

He thinks back to the day she smiled brightly at him for the first time.

_Her face is expressive, soft. I tell her, “I appreciate these chats we have.” Red-painted eyelids flitter. “You’ve spent a lot of your life alone, Thane.” I pause. “Work fulfilled me. Reading. I barely spoke to anyone outside my family. It seems there will be no one to mourn me when I die. You're the only friend I've made in ten years.” She smiles warmer than Rakhana’s fair sands during my time on a pilgrimage. “A friend, huh? That’s a start.” I feel the frills on my cheeks grow warmer. “A start? That’s…” I trail off. My heart beat faster than what was normal. “Intriguing.” Onyx brown eyes light up at my words. “I will always be here to talk.”_

He noticed that his cup was empty, and made his way outside the room to get more tea. On the way, he bumped into Kelly, who was leaving for the food she promised. “Oh! Thane,” she greeted, slightly surprised. “Miss Chambers. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he responded politely. “I’m about to get some food for our little party, I hope the noise doesn’t bother you,” Kelly tells him apologetically. He responds with, “Not at all.”

Curious eyes looks at him with uncertainty. “You’re heading there as well? Want to walk with me?” she offers, and he considers. Shepard had suggested on one occasion that he should talk to the other crew. So far, it has helped him emotionally. On the way to the mess hall, she asks him a question. “So, I remember you were there when the Commander was drugged while she was helping Samara,” she started, to which he cleared his throat. “What happened?”

Thane respectfully shook his head. “I would like to refrain from answering. It is something I shouldn’t speak of, and I respect Shepard’s privacy. It’s up to Shepard if she wishes to impart what happened that night,” he responds as he placed his cup under the water dispenser. “I understand. The way you cradled her that night though,” Kelly quips as she gathered an assortment of nuts, chips and fruits, a few of them meant for dextros like Tali. “I can see you really care for her. And it seems like she trusts you a lot,” she continues. Thane felt his cheeks grow warmer once more. “I think you two would be good for each other.”

Thane clasps his hands around his cup, currently oblivious to its searing contents, his heart jumping to his throat. “Anyways, I should really get back to that party. It was nice talking to you, Thane.”

He was about to leave when Kasumi materialized beside him. He _knew_ they weren’t alone. Thane felt careless for letting his guard down.

“I saw you blushing. Or at least, the drell equivalent of blushing,” Kasumi teased. “I promise I won’t tell, I won’t _rob_ you of the opportunity to tell her yourself,” she continues, chuckling at her own pun. “You really do care for her, don’t you?”

“I doubt you’d honor your promise,” Thane replies dryly. “But, yes. I find myself caring for Shepard. I have told her.” Happy squeals were heard courtesy of the thief. “I knew it. I need more details,” Kasumi prods as she sits on the counter.

Shepard was right. It is going to be a long night, indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

There is hooting, and the drell could hear Jack’s mad laughter as she danced on the bar. Shepard is laughing with her, and oddly enough, Miranda is too. The noise is starting to take a toll on Thane. He stood up for a third cup of tea, and perhaps for a quick bite. There was still left over food that Mess Sergeant Gardner made for the evening mess, and he is relieved that Shepard gave him quality supplies. Thane left the mess hall satisfied, and he returns to life support with his third cup. He quietly thanked his gods that the noise has died down. The women are mostly chattering at the moment.

“Shit, I almost forgot,” Jack mentions, taking out a datapad. “I was going to show you something I got when we were on Omega, Shepard. But Krios was hauling your convulsing ass all the way to the Normandy sooo I figured I’d save it for another day,” she continues as she continued to browse the contents of her datapad with a roguish look on her face. “Aww. You got something for me? Finally warming up to the crew, Jack?” Shepard retaliated sarcastically, obviously intoxicated, to which the biotic snorted. “Don’t get any delusions,” she snaps back, prompting the commander to laugh.

Tali and Kelly scoots over, curious. “I wanna see,” Tali slurs, and Kelly drunkenly nods. Devious chuckles escaped Jack’s lips. “I’m still hoping those aren’t drugs,” Miranda yells, slumped over at the bar. “For the third fucking time, cheerleader, it’s not. Now where were we? Oh yeah.” Shepard’s dark eyes widen as Jack shows her what’s on her datapad. “Really Jack? Fornax?”

Kelly’s face brightens and Tali stammers, obviously flustered. Curious, Kasumi crawls over, while Miranda and Samara had indifferent looks on their faces. “Not just any Fornax. It seems it’s a drell special edition, Commander,” Kelly excitedly garbles, her inhibitions utterly destroyed by the alcohol she consumed. “Oh my fucking god,” Shepard exclaims. Thane didn’t expect such a spirited reaction. “Keelah, I’m not interested, but now I’m curious,” Tali comments slowly, getting flustered under her suit. Thane’s breath hitches in his throat. As if breathing with Kepral’s Syndrome isn’t difficult enough.

Frills on his cheeks grow hot. The drell felt uncomfortable knowing he’s about to hear alien women ogling and making comments about his species being portrayed in a sexual manner. The room felt warmer when he realized that he is about to hear what reactions his _siha_ might elicit if she continues to read the pornographic magazine. The thought is wrong, but he’d be lying if he denied that he’s rather curious of what she thinks of drell bodies.

“Oh my, both the men and women are beautiful,” Kelly comments, her face an embarrassing shade of pink. “Those strrrripes are so pretty,” Tali adds, obviously the most intoxicated person in that room. “What the- they also have frills down there?!” Jack exclaims as she swiped to the next image, a male drell suggestively touching himself in… erogenous places. “And ridges _there?_ Wow. That oughta make a girl feel _real_ good,” Jack continues, and Shepard sighs. “It seems they are beautiful even down _there_ ,” the yeoman continues, eyes gleaming. Shepard wore a stunned expression on her face, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. Jack notices her burning cheeks and looks at the painfully aroused commander with the most indecent expression Shepard saw her make. “Shepard, imagine _that_ cock inside you. Or better yet, imagine the resident drell’s cock pumping inside you. Oh yeah, I think Krios would like that too,” Jack continues, lingering on that page. Shepard uncharacteristically yells, partly due to the copious amounts of whiskey she consumed, drawing laughter from the unstable biotic as she grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Thane rests his forehead against the cool metal of his desk. He can feel his body become aroused at the imagery Jack described, and ashamed for he silently agreed that, yes, he would like that. Not that he will admit it out loud.

“Hey, that one looks like Thane,” Kasumi cheerfully quips, one hand holding a drink and another pointing to the datapad, and Shepard made a sound similar to a wounded animal. “They all look alike,” Jack deadpans, to which Shepard shakes her head. “No, no, she’s right. He does. He does and I want to jump out the airlock,” Shepard blurts out, the blossoms on her cheeks spreading down her neck like wildfire, and she takes a great swig of whiskey straight from the bottle to cope. “Great, thanks Jack. I can’t look him in the eye again because I’d be busyyyy thinking about other places,” Shepard continues, her speech beginning to slur as more alcohol swam in her bloodstream. Jack practically _howls._ Prompted by Shepard's remark, Thane stands up and turns down the heat in the room, his leather pants getting restrictive at the groin.

Jack swipes down further and there was a code for a video, to be scanned by an omni-tool. The vid plays automatically as Tali swipes her arm, and the same drell model was copulating with a human woman. Their labored breaths and curses echoed in the room. Miranda leans over and makes a muffled giggle, uncharacteristic for the down-to-business Cerberus operative that she is when she's sober. “S-shepard, you resemble the actress,” Miranda points out. Thane can clearly hear it from his quarters and shamefully, he unclasps some of the buckles on his clothes and let his manhood spring free from its confines, the pressure brought to it by his form-fitting leathers making it almost painful. Tali is dazed on the floor as the vid continues to play before her. “Great, now I’m imagining Thane pinning - _hic_ \- Shepard against the wall and having his way with her. My suit’s interface thought I had a fever and made a scan,” she groggily comments. Thane can hear Shepard yelling again, berating Tali, and muttering about needing another drink.

Thane can keep himself from being distracted by the comments about his species, but when they pointed out the resemblances of the actors in the pornographic film to Shepard and himself, and when Tali made that comment, he couldn’t hold back. Instinctively, his hand reached for his manhood, and he exhaled deeply as he squeezed himself, his eyes going shut. Thane imagines the same scenario their quarian friend described; Shepard’s plush mouth against his as he pinned her wrists above her head, moving his manhood inside of her inch by inch. Unspeakable, decadent thoughts plagued his mind. About a minute into it, he freezes, realized what he was doing, and silently begs for forgiveness. He is wicked. The drell dials down the temperature in his room further down. He needs to calm down.

Thane hears her voice again as he took his cup and drank more of his beverage to calm his nerves. “Jack, why the hell did you have to show me this?” Shepard asks wryly, trying to make her voice as cold as possible.

 “I was - _hic_ \- thinking because it’s the way you look at Thane, Commander,” Tali chimes in.

Thane froze once more.

“W-what?!” Shepard exclaimed. “I just- I mean I can’t deny- ah, shit. Am I…” she trails off, the blossoms on her cheeks painfully red. “Ah hell. I was never a subtle person, anyways.”

Thane didn’t want to assume that she is feeling something for him. He thought it was mere friendliness, which she had for the entire crew. However, this night has proven otherwise. He lies down at his bed, dazed and unbelieving of this recent development.

Thane closes his eyes. He held a hand to his forehead and was surprised by how far his temperature has risen.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack is teasing Shepard.

“Shit, you’re like a lost puppy around him Shepard,” Jack exclaims. Thane knew that a puppy was the young of an Earth species that resembled varren, only less jarring to the eyes, and with fur. “And when he’s not looking, you’re like a bitch in heat.”

Taking slight offense at Jack's comment, Shepard flips her the bird, but both of them shook it off as playful banter. Thane felt his erection coming back and he cursed himself. He is observant; he is an assassin after all. Whether the unstable biotic’s comments had some shred of truth in it or not, he knew when Shepard gave him looks, but he wasn’t too sure about human body language. Well, body language that involved romantic and sexual encounters.

“I wouldn’t describe the looks the Commander gives him that way,” Kelly replies, lying down on the couch. “It’s more of a… sweet one. A verrrry sweet one. A verrrryyy sweet and longing one, like she’s been starved of love all her life.” Shepard sighs. “That’s… not inaccurate,” the commander replies, crashing beside the yeoman. Facing Shepard, the yeoman made big motions with her arms, the alcohol affecting her coordination. “And he gives you the sweetest looks too! I mean, I’m not sure of his intent but when he looks at you,” Kelly rambles, making Shepard look at her with hope. “It’s like he wants to hold you in his arms and never let your feet touch the ground.” Thane found himself agreeing silently with the yeoman.

“I have to agree, and the way Kelly puts it makes it sounds sooo cute,” Kasumi drawls, her pale skin flushed both from the alcohol and Kelly’s description. “Oh, Kelly, don’t make me yearn over nothing,” Shepard jokingly replies. She didn’t have to yearn. He loves her as well.

Thane is completely certain.

The assassin’s train of thought was broken when Doctor Chakwas chimes in. “I think the odds are in your favor, Commander. Thane is normally so stoic; he was very concerned when he rushed inside the medbay with you in his arms after your mission on Omega. I remember Kaidan doing the exact same thing after the incident with the beacon on Eden Prime,” she continues, nursing her favorite brandy in one hand. He recalls that Shepard spoke of Kaidan once. Hearing this, Thane assumes this Kaidan is a past flame of Shepard’s.

“Yeah, and I left him to die on Virmire,” Shepard bitterly replies. Thane’s eyes fluttered open. This was… new to him. Shepard never mentioned Kaidan dying to him.

“Past boyfriend of yours, Shep?” Kasumi queries. “No,” she replies. “But we had something. I’m not sure about what I felt about him, but he loved me. Choosing to save Ashley was a hard decision,” Shepard continues. Jack is very silent now. “Shit, we didn’t even get a chance to kiss. I’d rather not dwell on it.” Tali pops up from her drunken sprawl on the floor, he suit creased and helmet almost askew. “W-what? I’m sorry Shepard but I must ask. I-I thought- err, the rumors were you were already intimate when I got on the ship, Commander,” Tali slurred, taking another sip of alcohol through the straw, which she had been referring to as an "emergency induction port" since she started swaying from the turian brandy. “Just rumors,” Shepard replied reservedly, her hand reaching for another bottle of whiskey. “Never had a relationship since Mindoir happened. I guess… it’s because I’m scared. Of rejection, of parting ways, of them dying…”

Thane found it harder to breathe. He knows death loomed over him, and the possibility of Shepard distancing herself from her because of his mortality made his heart sink. He’d understand if she does, he does not want to be selfish. Thane wouldn’t dare hurt her this way, but he knew, deep down, it _will_ hurt him. And if she’s certain of what she felt for him, it will hurt her too.

“Well, you didn’t have to have a relationship to sleep with someone anyways,” Jack blurts out, pouring herself a shot as she tried to make light of the situation; this was supposed to be a fun evening anyways. “We never slept together,” the commander quickly and dryly retorts. Shepard’s blushing and Jack notices. “Whatever. But for real, Shepard. You’re blushing like a goddamn virgin when we looked at that Fornax. It’s almost as if you are one.”

Shepard seethed between her teeth, the alcohol in her bloodstream making her more honest than what was necessary. “I _am_ one.”

Thane’s body shot up from his bed. There is a sound of glass shattering from the other room as Tali unconsciously dropped her drink. There is nothing but silence. Suddenly, Jack laughs again. Miranda follows suit. Soon Kasumi did as well.

“Oh my god, I _knew_ it,” Miranda exclaims, putting her hands in the air. “Awwww, Shepard. You’re so cute,” Kasumi adds, much to the Commander’s shame. “Really Miranda? I knew you did a lot of digging about me, but _really_? That too?” Shepard questions her, face redder than a red supergiant. “No, but I had my suspicions. You were always tense. Even Aria T’Loak noticed that. Kelly and I had thought of advising you to get laid, but we thought better against it.”

Jack cuts in. “Wait, shit. Shit, you died and Cerberus brought you back, right?” she asks Shepard, to which she nodded. “I don’t see what that has to do with-“

“Oh my god. Fucking hell, Shepard,” Jack boomed, laughing and clutching her stomach as she did. “What the fuck is so funny with being a virgin?” Shepard finally asks, growing more irritated. “Yeah, I mean, I’m a virgin as well,” Tali quickly mentions, defending the Commander. “You’re a quarian, Tali. Your people don’t have much opportunities to be intimate,” Samara reservedly mentions. “You’re all missing the point,” Jack cuts in. “Shepard died a virgin!”

Soon enough, everyone was bursting into laughter. Even Samara is amused by this discovery. Shepard dove under the covers of Kasumi’s bed and yelled. Jack brought her glass up, proposing a toast. “Here’s to Shepard’s virginity,” she exclaims, and everyone except the commander clinked their glasses together. “I hate you all,” Shepard sighs, defeated and her devastatingly embarrased.

“Commander, if you die again before spending a night with Thane, I’ll have to put _something_ about it on your epitaph,” Miranda joked, half-serious in her inebriation. “Commander Valeria Elizabeth R. Shepard. Triumphed over Saren. Savior of the Citadel. Died a virgin, twice.” Laughter rang in the room again and Thane heard another glass shatter. He assumed Shepard had thrown it.

Thane is uncomfortably hot. He needed a cold shower, Kepral’s Syndrome be damned. He composed himself, exited the room and quickly strode to the men’s restroom. Quickly, he turns on the shower and turned the temperature way down. This was a night of embarrassment. Not his, but he definitely feels second-hand embarrassment for Shepard. He felt like he heard enough for tonight.

Or so he thought.


	5. Chapter 5

 “I have to admit, Thane has a certain… mystique about him. He’s not my type, but I get it,” Kasumi tells Shepard, who was still hiding under her covers. Everyone else is wasted, except Samara, who had fallen asleep on her own, and Jack, who was still taking shots. “He _really_ likes you though,” Kasumi continues, prompting Shepard to peek from the covers. “Those big, black eyes of his go a _flutter_ when he talks about you.”

Thane found his lips tugging into a small smile when he hears Shepard make a small, delighted noise. Fierce as she was in the battlefield, she is endearing. Shepard found herself blushing like an inexperienced schoolgirl at Kasumi’s observation of Thane. Perhaps she _is_ one. “What did he say, Kasumi?” Shepard asks. The assassin sighs as he prepared himself for the inevitable; he had a hunch that he couldn’t trust Kasumi with this. But he was proven wrong just a few seconds later.

“I’m not telling you anything aside from that,” the master thief replies, sitting in her usual spot on the couch. “Why don’t you ask him yourself. Think of this as an opportunity to get closer to him,” the thief continues, much to the assassin’s relief. When he felt like he has sufficiently cooled down, he turned the temperature up. The warm waters relaxed his muscles and his hands reached for the knots in his back.

“I-I don’t know Kasumi, I’m… shy,” Shepard mutters, rolling over and draping the covers over her head. “ _The_ Commander Shepard, shy?” Kasumi chuckles, moving from her seat at the couch to sit next to her on the bed. “I wasn’t always Commander Valeria Elizabeth R. Shepard. Triumphed over Saren. Savior of the Citadel. Died a virgin, _once_ ,” Shepard laughs, mimicking Miranda’s joke in a bout of self-deprecation, wrapping the sheets around her closer and leaning against the wall. “I didn’t always give inspiring speeches or punch krogans to death. I was once Val,” she continues, which managed to pique Jack’s interest. “The colony kid with stage fright, bad social skills, and an unrealistic dream of wanting to be a singer.”

Kasumi scooted closer. “Wait, you _sing_? Can you sing for me, pretty please?” Shepard looks at Kasumi’s face and saw her curious, amused and obviously drunken visage. Suddenly, Tali’s body shot up from her sprawl again and she crawls over to the bed. “Shepard? Singing? I wanna hear that,” she drunkenly spoke up as well. How can Shepard say no to these two? “Okay, I’ll sing an old earth song. It’s short, but, I really feel the song right now,” the commander finally replies, the slurring in her speech slowly dying down. Tali sat up and made the small, happy bounces she does whenever she was excited; Kasumi lies prone, her face cupped by her hands. Jack stumbles over and slumps forward on the couch, and in the men’s restroom, Thane moved closer to the wall, turning down the water so he can hear her with more clarity.

“ _It might not be the right time, I might not be the right one, but there's something about us I want to say, ‘cause there's something between us anyway…”_

A warmth washes over the drell, and his eyelids flutters shut. He thinks to himself that his _siha_ ’s voice is meant for lullabies; silvery and soothing. He paid mind to the lyrics and found himself sighing; this is a moment he will treasure for sure.

“ _I might not be the right one, it might not be the right time, but there's something about us I've got to do, some kind of secret I will share with you.”_

Thane starts to note that the song sounds like a declaration of love, a confession of sorts, and hearing them from her lips left him breathless. Thane ardently wants to believe she is singing for him, while the room where his _siha_ is singing, the master thief’s eyes sparkle with joy, and the quarian made a high-pitched, excited sound. Even Jack’s eyebrows are raised all the way to her forehead.

“ _I need you more than anything in my life, I want you more than anything in my life, I'll miss you more than anyone in my life, I love you more than anyone in my life.”_

Tali is kicking her legs in delight throughout the last verse. “Keelaaaah, Shepard you should sing more!” she squealed, rolling over to put her head on Shepard’s lap. “I might have recorded that, and it might have two million extranet hits as we speak,” Kasumi teases, earning her a playful swat on the hand. “Maybe next time I can smuggle a piano on board for you Shep,” she continues. A soft chuckle rumbles from Shepard's chest. “You’re singing this because of Thane, aren’t you, Shep?” Kasumi queries, resting her elbow on the commander’s unoccupied thigh. Shepard simply nods, and Tali makes an endearing noise.  Jack scoffs at Shepard’s display of vulnerability. She stumbles towards the door, only to fall face first a few feet away. “Just fuck already,” she mumbles against the floor, and Shepard managed to chuckle in amusement. “In time, maybe. I just want to get to know him better for now,” the commander replies, closing her eyes in exhaustion. It had been a long night.

“I’m sorry to bring this up, Shep, but sooner or later, Thane will be gone,” Kasumi solemnly says, propping herself up and sitting beside the commander. She merely sighs in response. “You said you’re scared of people you care for dying on you. What direction will you take with Thane?”

Thane turns off the shower, and strides quickly to life support. Maybe he didn’t want to hear what she will say. Perhaps he’s better off left in the dark. He won’t wound her heart by coming into her life, only to leave when death takes him by the hand and guides him to the sea. However, he still can hear her through the Normandy’s steel walls that seemed like paper.

“I don’t- I can’t- I want to stay with him,” Shepard starts, flustered but slightly sober, patting Tali’s head as the quarian wiggled into a more comfortable position. “If there’s anything I learned after spending two years dead, it’s that death doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care when, where or who,” she continues, as Jack propped herself against the door and looked at Shepard with a disdainful expression as the commander's expression grew somber. “If I die, if he dies, if both of us die…”

Shepard pauses as she thinks of Thane’s smile as he held her hand one night. “I guarded my heart from this kind of thing since Mindoir. I denied myself a chance at love from then. But damn all that; he’s burning through the walls I built around my heart like they’re made of paper,” the commander sobs, a single tear falling from her eye. “I want our last few moments to be worthwhile. I want him to be happy before the inevitable.”

Thane felt like he was soaring. Tears began to well in his eyes. Dying without anyone mourning him is something he already accepted long ago, but now, there is someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those unfamiliar, the song Shepard sings is Something About Us by Daft Punk.


	6. Epilogue

“Keep that up, Shepard, and I might just believe in love again.”

Bitterly, Jack mutters those words as she looked at the three women on the bed, who were sleeping for the past thirty minutes. Despite her sarcastic tone, there was a tinge of sincerity in her words that she will never admit. The unstable biotic is piss drunk, stumbling, but she can still dish out sarcasm, and she can still walk. The doors that led outside open, and she quickly stepped out, only to crash into a taller figure. It grips her, but she let her weight shift, and she’s on the floor.

Thane sighs in defeat as Jack staggered to the floor, lukewarm tea spilling on his shirt. “Fuck. Ow, watch where you’re going,” she snaps, fumbling to get back up. When she sees who she collided with, she simply laughed. “Dammit Krios, I thought you’re faster than that." Thane merely blinks in response. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, the assassin spoke once more. “I intended to catch you,” Thane merely replies, holding an empty cup in one hand. “Oh, yeah? I can take care of m’self,” she slurs as she continues swaying to the elevator. “Why don’t you catch Shepard? She’s falling for you harrrrd.”

Tali bolts up from her drunken stupor and shakes Shepard awake. “Shepard, Shepard, I think we might have a _little_ problem,” she whispers, panicking and pulling her to the door. Kasumi stirs from her sleep as well. “What?” Shepard blurts, irritated from being rudely interrupted from her short nap. “J-jack’s talking to someone. I think it’s _Thane,_ ” Tali stammers, and Shepard sways up, her eyes wide and awake.

“Oh. Yeah. I forgot to tell you Shep, but Thane was here the entire night,” Kasumi casually and calmly drawls, lying supine on the bed. All the blood from Shepard’s face is gone and she lunges at the master thief. “Kasumi, why didn’t you tell me?!” Shepard whispered, agitated. “I thought he’s out to visit Kolyat for two days! You mean he never left the entire time?!”

“Oh, Keelah this is bad,” Tali mutters, grasping at her helmet with both hands. “Thane left ahead of his original schedule and returned earlier as a result, Shepard,” EDI chimes in. Shepard cursed under her breath. The three barely conscious women huddled together and eavesdropped on the conversation. When the door _woosh_ ed open, Kasumi was already invisible, Tali jumped on the couch and landed on Miranda (who made a pained groan), and Shepard stumbled forward, colliding with a bare, scaly, yet smooth chest.

Thane had taken his soiled shirt off, and in retrospect, he should have put on a fresh tunic considering the _activities_ Jack instigated the night prior. He caught Shepard in his arms, her head barely reaching his chin when she straightened up. “Thane,” she mutters, surprised, her cheeks starting to blossom again. “Siha. Are you feeling well?”

Shepard nods, and leans on him for support. “Don’t worry about me. I- I’m sorry for the noise,” she sheepishly says. Looking up, she finds herself lost in the black pools of his eyes. “It’s of no trouble, Siha. You deserve this vacation.” Thane picks her up, and she clings on his bare shoulders, shuddering at his warmth. “Should I take you back to your cabin?” he asks her, to which she shakes her head. “I need to watch over my crew here. Can’t let Tali drown in her own vomit if she threw up inside her helmet." Thane let out a small chuckle and Tali made an annoyed grumble in response. “You need to rest,” he said as he gently laid her down on Kasumi’s bed.

“I will. Thank you Thane.”

He was about to leave the room when she called him again.

“Oh, and Thane? Did you hear much of the stuff that went down here?”

The drell felt his frills redden again. “I might have,” he replies, not turning around to face her.

Shepard felt nervous, a fire in her belly slowly igniting. “What did you hear?”

Thane looks over his shoulder, a smile that is not unkind blooming on his lips.

“I heard you sing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a spur-of-the-moment story that was meant to be a very serious and angst-ridden, but after getting drunk myself, I thought this story deserved some humor. I will probably look back to this piece and make continual improvements on any spelling and grammar errors I missed, and fix the flow of the story as well. I hope the crew wasn't too out of character when I wrote about them being piss-drunk, and I hope you guys enjoyed this!


End file.
